Hakuna Matata

What a wonderful phrase. But not for a senior class motto. Vinemont High seniors, think about the kids that will walk the halls of our school in five years. Even ten years! Think about the way we look at all of the pictures of the past graduates and laugh at the way they're dressed. One day, kids are going to laugh at us like that. Not only because of the way our hair looks, but because our motto will be from The Lion King. How immature can we look? Why would we want to get made fun of in the future? Twenty years from now, we're going to look back on "the glory days" and wonder why we were so dumb. We're going to wonder, what were we thinking? And really, what are we thinking? Hakuna Matata? We all know that it means no worries for the rest of your days, but Simba did have a few problems. When he grew up he had to go fight scar to reclaim his position as King of the Pridelands. What is we have to fight our uncles one day and we realize what a dumb idea it was to make our senior class motto Hakuna Matata.

But if the motto does end up being Hakuna Matata, we'll all be fine. We're still going to graduate from high school. High school is either the best or the worst time of our life, so really... the class motto isn't the biggest issue. If you're like me, you're biggest issue is graduating and getting as far away from that school as possible. While it may seem like high school isn't very important now, it really determines our whole future. The way you perform in high school determines what colleges will take you, and the college you go to helps you with the career you want. So for those of you who are like me and absolutely hate high school, just remember to work hard and do your best anyway. It'll pay off in the end. And if we're lucky, we'll have no worries in life. On second thought, maybe Hakuna Matata should be our class motto. Nah!

So, this one is definitely not going on facebook. People will judge me if they read this. So to my readers, or Aljon, you don't have to read this. Honestly, the only reason I thought about writing it is I'm watching Sex and the City. For some reason, watching old single women trying to find love makes me miss mine. Not that I don't constantly miss Ryan, but watching this show makes me miss him so much more. You never really know how much you love someone until they're gone. And the sad part is: he isn't even gone! He's at basic training, which means that he's going to come home. So why am I so upset about the distance if I know that he's coming home in a few weeks? Is it honest love, or just the need to not be alone?

I love him. I do. I love the way he makes me feel. You know the feeling of absolute happiness? Like, the world is spinning just to make you happy. Ryan can make you feel like that with just one look. I've been asked by more than one person, "Why Ryan?" Well, they wouldn't have asked that if they knew the feeling that he can give. I don't have the words to describe him. Ryan... That's what I'll call it! The Ryan Feeling. How many guys will let you come over right after work, and just let you go to sleep? I can't think of any. It's the little things that make me so happy. I think that the secret to making any girl happy is the little things. The little things like sitting with her while she paints her toenails, or kissing where it hurts. The small but sweet notions that make the relationship so great.

I miss the boy. Plain and simple. I love him and I just straight up miss him. Honestly, I would probably miss Mtn. Dew more. Actually, I shouldn't say "more." I miss them both, just differently. I miss Ryan for the feeling of his presence, for the conversation. For him. I miss Mtn. Dew just because I'm addicted to the stuff. I'm not addicted to Ryan, but I will never let him go anywhere else. He'll never be farther than 100 miles away from me again. Have you ever just felt so attached to someone that you just knew you'd never be able to be away from them? I feel like that...

I worry that I've taken him for granted. I feel like I might have made him question me. I don't like this feeling. I have a few things about myself that I should change. I don't mean the things like clean more, or eat healthier. That stuff sucks. I'm talking about the things like be more grateful. You know? Respect him more. Love him more. I can't help but wonder, will I still feel this way when he comes home?

Or is this a tale as old as time?

To Ryan, if you ever read this... I miss you. And I can't wait to see you again. I love you. <3